Examining The World

The next morning Lauren got up early, she barely could sleep even as she was tired, and had bags under her eyes of darkness. She walked past the living room, where the three men were sleeping in variously uncomfortable positions, one of them was a snorer surprising for a centurian. Past that she was out the door at no less than half past six.

She got to the office, drank her coffee with her thoughts, the whole world wasn’t making sense for her, and she needed things to make sense so as to arrest herself in this life. She waited patiently for the person she was going to talk to, she drank her coffee, no sugar, no cream. Occasionally she would look at her hands, focus on the right one, move her fingers, “are they real?” she would watch them touch the air, no she would feel them touch the air, she noticed she had forgotten to paint her nails, she felt her hand muscles move, perhaps it was the cold morning that was making them more obvious, or perhaps it was that she was more sensitive to them, she thought the latter, for she was also feeling her bones, her joints, she was feeling the Lauren that she thought she knew.

It was about 830am, when she made her way to the coroner’s office. Her gentle face leaning into the door, “Hello Danny.” He quickly got up and rounded his desk and giving her the slight hug she was calling for, “This place is feeling more like a morgue everyday.” “Do you have time for some tea, I have already had all the coffee in the world.” “Sure.” They went out the door, captain Ogle passed by them in hurry but with enough brevity to point with the folder that he was holding uttering, “Lauren I want to see you in my office later.” Lauren and Danny looked at each other seemingly saying, “yeap, that’s’ our captain.” Only Lauren paused to notice the mutual acknowledgement, something was said in silence, Danny and she had confirmed something.

Danny didn’t have coffee, he ordered an orange juice instead, it was fresh and delicious, and he felt compelled to tell Lauren this, then he snapped back into his usual casual self, “what’s up?”

“Danny what do you think of the world?”

Danny mixing his fingers together. “What do I think of the world?”

“Yes, what do you think of the world?”

His head bouncing around as if trying to capture the meaning of the impossible. “I don’t know the world as a whole, the whole thing Lauren, what are you asking me.”

“Come on, just try to answer the question.”

His fingers uncomfortably touching his eyebrow. “You know the world happens to be the world, and it happens to happen and I am ok with that, I don’t know is that a good answer?”

Lauren leaning into Danny holding her hands together and advancing them back and forth, so as to have his full attention. “Danny the world with everything in it, do you think it is real or do you think we imagine it?”

“Well I like to think it is real, I am not going to contest it,” leaning back into his chair as if he had gotten it right. “Yeap I think it is real.”

“Why did you decide for forensics as a career?”

“Frankly I never gave it much thought, I always just stumble into things, you know a pile of dead bodies here and there, hard to avoid,” Momentarily covering his eyes with his fingers, “I guess you wont settle for that answer, I think I became a coroner because I always wanted to be a scientist, but I thought about it and it seem complicated, writing papers, trying to get grants and deciding what to research, though chemistry appealed to me, even if some people do say it is a dead science, you know there is always something to discover or some truth to disprove, but I believe being in forensics allows me more or less to work with the types of tools that I feel most comfortable with, I don’t like the dead bodies, but after a while the dead bodies are just dead buddies, each opens something new.”

“That’s it something new, something new the corpse tells you things Danny, don’t you see the corpse is talking to you, it is trying to tell you who killed it, it is trying to reveal to you its gastronomic history, or the history of its last 36 hours, it is trying to communicate with you, that is why it came to you.”

“You could say that, sure.”

“Haven’t you wondered about that, haven’t you wondered about the world and all the people in it, what are they doing here, it seems odd what we do, I don’t know but lately I am starting to question if I want to be a detective.”

“Well if your wondering about the world that could happen.”

“Danny I am serious, I have been stumbling into some things that tell me that there is many worlds that I haven’t observed, many worlds that I don’t see, many events that I don’t witness, last night for instance, I was with three men that seem to have been through all kinds of time periods and they talk about you and me being the representation of ergio units…”

“I seem to remember from my Latin studies, a unit of energy right?”

“Yes, I didn’t know that, but they say that these units of energy, ergios, seek to express our desires, that this table is solid because we press upon it to be solid and to hold our coffee, that our desires make it do that, that if we stop desiring this table that it will banish, that this table needs us to confirm its existence and that it somehow confirms ours through the interaction.”

“Jesus Lauren you have been going through some serious tripping.”

“Oh yes I know it sounds all brouhaha but I am telling you because I am starting to feel it, it is as if those men and the events of the last few days had turned me on to something that I was ignoring, and then perhaps, according to them, it is now real simply because I am looking at it. I prove my own thesis.”

“Well if that is the case then every crime you have ever solved has been merely a process of finding the evidence that convinces you of the facts.”

Lauren triumphantly expressive, “Obviously! cases are never proven by some key fact or some grandiose discovery, simply the consequences and witnesses keep on piling to make of circumstantial evidence an overriding fact.” She pauses as if she had found some truth she needed to deliberately absorbed before it would escape back into her jungle- subconscious, and pensively utters, “Habakkuk has a saying, “it doesn’t matter if we are alive or dead, what matters is our actions.”

“What is more, the links could all be real, or are made real by the attention that I give to them, I am a good cop because I tune into the murder thing, to the relatives, friends, to the office where the victim worked, to their homes, down to the type of clothes they wear and why they prefer certain patters on their socks. And there is this thing Danny, its called the Akashic record and apparently its stores everything, and so when I am concentrating in solving a crime the incessant associations give me greater asses to the Akashic and somehow I get closer and closer to what is the most promising truth, until I make an intuitive leap and catch the murderer.”

“This all comes from your friend Habakkuk,” he holds back some of her reaction by calming her with palms up gestures, “hold on, hold on I am not saying he is crazy I am just saying that he is the source of this, certainly everything that you are saying is fascinating even if just for conversation’s sake. But even at that, it makes me think, I don’t know why I had never thought about the world, I guess I was always at the supermarket or working and I never gave it much thought, I guess I let the politicians do all that.”

“Well according to these guys the entire human race is interconnected Danny, everyone is connected to everyone else, not only through the Akashic but through some medium, they say that all knowledge possess by one human possesses all, and it all adds up, that anyone who intuits and senses the universe can be a genius, though they say genius is just a human being that is roaming through the ideas of our entire humanity. Things get simpler from there, some how if you can touch humanity then you are smart.”

“That is very heady stuff.”

“It is but it also seems right, think about it what is original, doesn’t everything that we know come from a shared understanding?”

“Yes, of course it does, I have somehow always thought that, I never believed anyone could invent anything really everything must be invented by everyone.”

“That is what these guys say also, they say that the only thing that created originality is isolation. That when we isolate ourselves we create individuality. Can you believe that.”

“Jesus Lauren this is really fantastic stuff, I want to join in your meetings with these guys.”

“I don’t think we have meetings, its not like that, we just happened together,” laughing mostly to herself, “its not like I can just say hey guys lets get together for dinner and have deep discussions about the world.”

“I guess you right. Now what are you going to do with all this new awareness then?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know what it means to be aware that your not yourself but just an expression of what you prefer yourself to be. I can’t imagine that I really want to be a detective, it sounds so trite now.”

“What would you prefer to do instead.”

“I don’t know have children maybe.”

Danny not hiding his surprise, “how would Antoinette feel about that?”

Her eyes moving back and forth through the ceiling, her arms scratching each other. “Its funny I always thought it was going to be her that would complicate things, but if I think about it now, if all this world is really a temporary apparition then it stands to reason that I should leave children here so they can continue to observe and make happen this world, this table, and heck people like you Danny boy.”

Danny and Lauren shared another silent communication which told them it was time to go, “Lauren I ain’t paying for this, you brought me into this, you pay.”

Slapping him and hugely laughing gorgeousness, “I tell you the great secrets of the universe and you make me pay, just isn’t fair.”

As soon as they got to the precinct the front desk clerk, a savvy old bitch, or that’s what the gang called her, yanked Lauren’s attention, “Ogle told me to tell you to go straight to his office, straight to his office, do not pass go, do not go to the bathroom, do not make any calls, go to his office, you get it missy!” Lauren was simply to happy from her dialog with Danny, thronging her nose up in the air, “Fine, I’ve heard you savvy old bitch.”

Ogle gives one of those “I want to kill you,” looks but somehow realizes that it would backfire so he pretends to be happy instead. “How are you Detective?” “Fine sir.”

“Yes you should be fine, you haven’t done any work, no reports from any of your cases, no charges filed against anyone, no new evidence coming to the forefront, it would be useless to ask for a progress report from you.”

“Sir I have been making the rounds, and think I could be getting close to something important.”

He leans into his chair. “Why don’t you share some of that something with your boss.”

“Well sir, I don’t think this is the appropriate time, I still need to tie down some loose ends.”

“Lauren, quit the shit, you never call me sir, tell me what is going on.”

Her hands behind her back nervously playing with each other, “I think I have stumbled into a global plot, there is something big happening and it has to do with Martin Luther King and Gandhi and even Mandela, lots of people and events, including the fall of the Berlin Wall, I know nothing about so I have to investigate further before I file a report.”

Ogle, gets up from his chair, grabs his desk and flips it entirely over in one swoop. “Get the fuck out of my office now, get out! get out!”

Lauren not five feet from the office, “sometimes wining a little time can be so risky.”

At her desk she starts playing with her thoughts and her pen. The name “Otto comes to mind.” “Father Otto. Ex Father Otto. Friend of Habakkuk. Friend of Father Trocin. Worked with Timothy. Was ousted from the church after witnessing some strange shit.”

She calls the Vatican customer service and public relations department. She doesn’t speak Italian, they find someone that speaks English, Gina speaks, “What country are you calling from?” “America.”

“Are you a practicing catholic?”

“No.”

“Will you be joining the church?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you want to believe in Jesus?”

“Gina I am a pissed off…” her teeth greetting, “…police officer from the United States I don’t have time for these types of questions!”

“Gee sorry ma’am but we have to do this surveys, but fine, you Americans are always so hostile. How can I be of service?”

They make it past all the bureaucratic questions,

“Yes we do have him registered as a practicing priest, he gets very high marks from his Archbishop Timothy Wellington, I quote, “Otto is a good servant of the Lord.”

“Well his archbishop is dead.”

“Not he is not.”

“Yes he is Gina. I am investigating the case.”

“But in the holy database he is not listed as dead.”

“Then you better add a note that he is dead.”

“Yes, good idea.”

“Is Otto still a priest in your database then?”

“Well yes, but these Oracle databases don’t know everything, only god knows all.”

“Gina, please tell me is he then, according to your Oracle database a practicing priest.”

“Yes. But if you want to hold I could do a check with the head of the American section.”

Minutes later…

“Yes ma’am still an active member of our church.”

“Thank you Gina.”

“Call again,” whispering “if they are not monitoring me I promise no survey next time.”

Lauren hangs and races to the church. Speaks with a nun that is working the garden. “Hello is father Otto here?” Pointing “Yes he is in the office in the back.” The nun goes back to her gardening.”

Lauren opens the door, before her a somewhat startled but not much Father Otto, even dressed the part. “I see we are still a practicing member of the church we got kicked out of. You want to explain.”

He puts a book down, “its really rather silly Lauren, how are you?”

“Feeling a bit silly why don’t you reassure me that you didn’t lie to me about being ousted from the church, that you didn’t lie to me with all that hogwash of a scary night in the garden where nuns were disrobed and killed, and Father Trocin and the Mother Superior were the evil host and hostess.”

“This is rather uncomfortable, you temporal people just can never amuse yourselves, here I want to share a little bit of fun with you, adding a little juice to your life and you won’t have it. Well then, get ready for the truth lady, this century doesn’t much matter to me, it is a bore, I never got kicked out of the church, I was just having some senseless fun, and the demonic ceremony was only a nightmare that I had which I was trying to sort of bring into real life, only you are way to slow to have gone on to domino events with a genuine investigation.”

“This is the most absurd thing I have ever seen a grown man do. You are absolutely ridiculous. I can’t even press charges because I will look even more ridiculous if I do.”

“Yes you can, yes you can, because I will confess now, I will confess now.”

“Confess to what,” mocking him with adulterated facial expressions, “…to killing the Archbishop!” Her fists spelling anger.

“Precisely Detective, precisely, you can charge me now, I am willing to sign a confession. I did kill him whether you believe it or not, and I killed him in the most interesting way possible.”

Lauren crosses her arms, plants herself dead in front of the man, “well then how did you kill the archbishop Father?”

The reply was instant and surefooted, “I scared him to death.”

“You what?”

He sat down. “I scared him to death. He was at the altar cleaning up when I came from behind and loudly proclaimed, “BOO!” the place really echoes you know. At first I thought he had fainted, but when I touched his neck, I thought perhaps he was dead, I didn’t know, it didn’t really bother me, he wasn’t going to promote me within the church, so I wasn’t panicking over it, instead I just picked him up and placed him on the altar, and I thought the oyster a nice touch.”

Squinting her eyes. “Why do I think you are telling me the truth. Why do I think you are telling me the truth.” She massages her forehead, “this is ridiculous.”

“Well I think you do have to arrest me. Or I would have to arrest you for dereliction of duty, that would be even more humorous.”

She doesn’t pause, she doesn’t take out her handcuffs, she begins, “you are under arrest for the murder…” she thinks… “is this really murder?” she continues, “for the murder of archbishop Timothy Wellington, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you…” They reach the car, they both get in as if just going somewhere together.

While in traffic he seems completely resigned to his fate, “it is such a boring century, I think I could learn a lot in jail, I don’t imagine it is as pretty as the church, the church is really boring, there is nothing but duties and rituals and the repetition does get to you and the confessions are a bore, fathers have abused their daughters three hundred times over, and people confess to rape and playing with Barbie dolls, and I just sit there, it is all very monotone, there is no variety, no one has ever confessed for making too much money; there is just no escape from it, it is everywhere, this is just the human condition, it was the same in other centuries, but in other centuries we had Cesar and Cleopatra and Anthony now you have Jennifer Lopez.”

Lauren wasn’t listening, she was concentrating on her driving.

He twisted his torso so that it faced the driving woman. “Jail, how bad can it be, I suppose I better get used to a little abuse, specially if they tell them I am a priest, I wont lack for a fuck there, totally the reverse of priesthood I think, perhaps I will commit suicide, maybe I wont be man enough, who knows if the lord will protect me there.”

“Father Otto, you have been very nice to confess, I really needed to solve a case to please the captain, but could I please have some silence till we get to the station.”

Captain Ogle could not look more awkward, both Otto and Lauren standing in front of him, a couple of officers giggling in the background, “I ask you to solve cases Lauren not to buy confessions from humble priests.”

“Captain I am convinced that he is telling the truth, if I am correct there should b a slight, almost insignificant but abnormal spike of adrenalin in Timothy Wellington’s autopsy report.”

Captain picks up the phone. “Danny get your ass in here with the TW report.”

Minutes later, after they explain to Danny the confession and he reviews the records. Everyone standing still as if the world had suddenly stopped. “Yes, there is, well not an unusual spike, it can occur during dreaming, if the dream events agitate the subject the adrenalin will pump itself up, this one does show a spike, that means that it didn’t have time to fully dilate within the body so there was no physical reaction, but if the subject was dreaming the muscle functions are disable anyway.”

Ogle “What does that mean?”

“It means that sense there was no reaction there would have been no physical injury, either from sudden death while sleeping or from something suddenly spooky.”

Ogle, “So there is a possibility that he died from being surprised by a scary boo!”

“Sure, its possible, something caused the spike, it could have been a dream, it could have been a boo!”

The captain takes his legs of his desk, he throws the file back at Lauren, who dashes to catch it, “Book him for murder!”

“Yes sir.”